Conceiving and carrying and delivering a baby is all part of the joys, it’s such an exciting time. You feel completely special and you are in awe that a baby or even a few babies are growing inside you. You plan, you prepare, but you can never ever prepare for motherhood. Regardless of how many women who have had children and continue to have them, you can never be prepared…be warned! No matter what your grandmother tells you, your mother, your sister, your friends, random strangers tell you….you can never ever be advised or even contemplate the major changes that motherhood brings. Good or bad it really does start from here.
In my opinion frankly and ultimately life starts with your mother, your mother carries you, brings you out and hopefully guides you through life! However the reality isn’t so. Its darn difficult, even superwoman would have her work cut out lol. You can’t be made of anything as such to be perfect at it. There isn’t a perfect, no-one or situation is perfect. But one thing you most certainly bring to the table is your very own self. Drop it all, be the woman/mother that you are supposed to be. Completely put that baby first, you most definitely get out what you put in.
The experiences of motherhood fronts all mothers, the question is whether a mother can actually mother or is it just a God given right to be a mother. Embracing it, means going all bare, starting from the bare basics. It is not about finding yourself and carrying on with what you were doing pre baby. It is about doing what you have never done before and making sure that you do it with all your heart and soul, and all your bones too. This is the only way forward. A happy strong positive mother = A happy strong positive child. FACT
No one said it was easy and just because a mother is happily smiling with 10 children and you are miserable with 1 doesn’t mean she is lucky, it simply maybe means she has worked it out and her wisdom has created everlasting happiness along the way.
Babies are indeed a special unexplainable gift and a blessing from God. Babies are precious and from the word go that sight should remain the same as they grow and even when you feel like an animal losing all your inhibitions and your mind, losing it all. Absolutely nothing should hinder this experience….but yet plenty can hinder this experience even for the strongest.
Unfortunately we live in world that only the strongest survive! Another mother might look upon another and ask? How do you do it? How are your kids so lovely and well mannered? For example….its baffling as we are all dealt the same cards as mothers the process is the same but then only, is the proof in the pudding.
From the moment the baby arrives you are feeling overwhelmed, anxious suddenly you realise that you are now a mother and that little baby in your arms has now arrived and depends on you for absolutely everything. The ‘me and I’ frame of mind goes right out of the window! Or so it should. You begin to realise even more so as the days pass that indeed becoming a mother and doing all you must do isn’t so easy. You might have been the strongest woman alive, you achieved so much already in your life and more too, but with ‘motherhood’ you really do start from the basics.
For fact they don’t arrive with that ‘manual’ every single step is a learning curve, you must ride with the tide. Your environment must be relaxed and supportive; if it isn’t so, then make sure you can get there because unfortunately this new baby will consume everything that is around. Good or bad!
This is of course the hardest time, you must take baby steps and that manual that you know never arrived with baby, you must now begin to write your very own. Your whole life is flashing right in front of you. Your own parents, childhood, relationships, life! Everything starts to fit the big muddled puzzle but still you have a long journey to take. You can’t be naive to think that just because baby has arrived you have those blues that it’s all rosy.
Becoming a mother hits all mothers the same but it is how every mother approaches and learns in the process that is crucial. Some people learn and some never learn. Some its culture, do what has been done before but reality is that mothering comes with the heart and if you have it then smiling will be in abundance.
Crying too would be in abundance, those post natal days, those teary days, those I haven’t slept and this job is darn hard days! But remember about perseverance. You get out what you put in, you can’t plan ahead however, and you can’t compare yours to another’s. What you must do is be open hearted and try to listen and take advice. A true mother whether 20 or 70 years old will tell you that it was not easy but then it becomes easier. You shouldn’t wallow in yourself; rather wallow in your child, your gift & blessing! More precious than Gold.