Autism is real, autism is everywhere but yet society seems to still be in the dark. I am expressing myself using my personal experiences, having an autistic beautiful diamond. I believe that I have been personally blessed to be given an autistic baby. My world, my eyes are wide open. I have learnt everything through my amazing daughter.
I remember right from the start, I could see that my baby was different. She did everything after her twin. However that did not phase me, as I just saw it as normal being part of a twin.
Whilst she is attending nursery, I was informed by the teacher that she had concerns as my daughters speech was delayed. She wasn’t speaking as she should at her age. We discussed and agreed that my daughter see a speech therapist to assess her.
At the appointment the speech therapist expressed concerns and suggested that Sofia would be referred to a paediatrician for further assessment. I mean the process in getting Sofia to see the speech therapist was a journey on its own. I couldn’t bear to think or begin to deal with anything. I was going through so much, and trying to look after all my children on my own. I was down and all alone. I couldn’t begin to deal with anything else. Very early on I had been told that Sofia could possibly be autistic. But I needed to get the correct diagnosis from the doctors. I refused to read anything on the Internet or any books. I simply didn’t want to be confused even more. I was already confused and anxious but most importantly I was extremely scared. I felt like I didn’t know where to begin. Things just seemed worse, I couldn’t even begin to deal with any of it more. But with God and strength and love and faith I went through the motions. I started to realise that my baby was starting school soon and I needed to get her the right support as she was struggling. She was always upset at nursery when I had to drop her off and she would kick off and have tantrums daily.
It was extremely difficult! Days were so bad, especially being in public. People would stare and shake their heads. I felt so ashamed and so anxious. I just beat myself up because my daughter was just so difficult to understand or handle. She didn’t speak and so she couldn’t tell me what was wrong. She would just scream and throw herself everywhere for everything. People are so ignorant and unaware so instead they stare and make it hard for one to function. I struggled with my daughter, it was way too hard. She didn’t get diagnosed until July 2014. I had to write and voice my concerns as I felt not having a diagnosis made it harder for people to even shut up as people like to assume and be judgemental just by face value. I mean having a diagnosis wasn’t for the benefits of others but solely for my daughter to get the help and support she needed to progress. My diamond is very high functioning and she has high sensory needs. I came to a realisation and I finally came to accept that yes my daughter is autistic and she needs the help and support required for her to progress. My mission was to simply focus on my child. I have to put her first and let her educate people. Let’s learn from her. As everyone is different autistic or not. What a journey we have been on! It’s been amazing, how I have learnt so much about autism from my amazing beautiful daughter.