Rejection

I don’t know if anyone else feels the way I do about rejection! I get weak in my knees, when I feel rejected in many forms. It bothers me (well less now) as I now truly understand where those feelings were generated from! I don’t take lightly to someone (anybody) saying they will do something and then they don’t do it! I get mostly so anxious and begin to analyse all sorts of scenarios in my head. Spending too much time pondering upon what I don’t know or understand. I began to realise this great problem a few years ago after some counselling. I accepted my issues! I had major “mummy deficit” issues and didn’t even realise for a long time the roots of my issues. I always felt inadequate and I would really persecute myself for absolutely nothing about the way others treated me and the way I reacted. I still have “mummy deficit” issues, but it’s more like a need. The fact is, at least I know and I have accepted that I will never have. I received so much rejection from my mother as a baby, child and even now. It drove me to the point where I had no self confidence whatsoever. I didn’t even know who I was, I didn’t know how amazing I am. I didn’t know any of my wonderful infectious qualities. Of course life, love and God most importantly have all showed me what I needed to realise and accept. I found growing up so difficult. I didn’t know how to express myself in the right context. I had so much anger and pain and resentment for my very own self! I got saved….I would constantly wallow in my pain, didn’t really understand how deeply I would let someone else’s action or problem to affect me so much. But again I got saved…looking at how I have grown especially in the last 4 years. As I grow and understand more about myself, I love and accept myself. If others reject me or treat me badly, I will not fret on myself! I know what I did and didn’t do. I can’t continue to beat myself up because someone with their own issues can’t love and accept me. How could someone love and accept you when they don’t even know how to apply that to themselves? I don’t worry any longer, I just totally understand why and how I can help others to hopefully cut the chains off and live the life you are supposed to be living. People will always reject you, no matter how amazing you are. Even when you haven’t offended anyone, still it will happen. The best way forward, is to ignore and exercise great silence as and when you discover your greatness. There is no need to beat yourself or others, especially when it comes to actions you can’t comprehend. Love and accept you wholly, there is absolutely no room for any rejection!!!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s