You forget that a time always comes, when you completely feel overwhelmed and maybe a scream or cry would help…but not when its around a high functioning autistic child!
Last few days have been hellish! I hardly take my daughter to crowded areas (shopping centres)…
But I decided on Monday, we’d go and buy some school things. We got there, and then hell broke lose! Everything she liked, she picked and I said no to buying and her response was shocking but yet expected!
She doesn’t understand “authority” how dare you say no to her? She starts to say all sorts…you are a “meanie” “I hate you” “you don’t love me” “you are diarrhoea”….my goodness the abuse was endless…and I have two other children with me, just quietly looking in disbelief!
But hey this is what we deal with when we are out…she doesn’t have boundaries or even a filter…she just loses it, because she can’t get her own way!
I felt like crying, I felt like breaking into pieces….but I remained disciplined, learnt from the last time. Still learning everyday… I have to be in control, not allowing her to get to me….not allowing the world to get to me, because all eyes are on us now…
It can be a lonely and a sad world, when you are in that moment with this child…no compassion…you soon realise that, you have to be it all!
It didn’t stop there, it is a pattern…you say no and she just doesn’t seem to accept it!
This is my battle, my challenge…to help her to understand “authority” to accept “adult instructions”…to not internalise and react when she doesn’t get everything…this is the most difficult part…
I am unbiased however, she is mine and I love her no matter what. My focus is to continue to love her unconditionally, but at the same time show her the errors of her ways…but what are her ways at 7? I don’t have the answers…I just have perseverance.
May God continue to guide my struggles and may our ventures continue regardless, because we have others to consider!