Tag Archives: autism

The hardest disability…

Truly the most difficult to see, is the one that seats inside…

It is easy to see a blind person, to see a deaf person, to see a wheelchair user…

But you can’t see the #autistic person #depressed person #bipolar person…

The list is endless, so as the expression…

Indeed never judge a book by its cover alone…You need to look inside…

But because it’s hidden, maybe I don’t want to express it to you! I don’t want your sympathy or to make excuses…

Because I am just like you….but a little special!

#autismisreal #autismawareness πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™

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Helping others, Autism Awareness…

I just had the most emotional and heart wrenching encounter at my local Tesco’s…

I am casually taking my time to walk as I have to wait like 30 minutes before my car gets washed…

I hear this heart wrenching cry and scream from a small child, and straight away I can identify, I can relate…

The whole store is staring at this poor Mother, who in her calmness is trying to find a way to get her screaming boy out of the store…

Oh my, I just couldn’t and I always find my self never walking by, I had to intervene…I know what it feels like to be all alone!

I went over and held him by his arms and got to his level…he was crying for some play dough…but with a child like this, no isn’t a word that is understood like other children would…

I spoke to him like I will speak to Sofia, I calmed him down…mum was so grateful and asked that I help her…

We walked out of the store together, both holding his hands…he was much better and decided they will go to the beach or even the park…

I cried with mum, I told her to be strong, I told her that I felt just like she did as my daughter was just like that…

I told her to be strong, to not let the world dictate to her the love for her child…it was overwhelming but extremely rewarding…

It is so important for me to be a support system, to raise awareness and to give others strength #autismawareness 

So much to be done and I want to be a part of this movement by sharing my own πŸ•ŠπŸŒΉπŸ’Ÿ

I am on a mission…Autism Awareness

What do I think I am going to achieve?

When it comes to #Autism I am most certain that I am on a mission and this journey, started when I realised that my daughter was sent to me for a reason….

She was sent to me and the world for a crucial reason…to educate, to elevate and most importantly to love unconditionally…without judging!

I was shouting from the roof top yesterday  (At a particular TK Maxx store, London)…

So after school, we all went to get a few bits…you can never plan for it or predict it…

We had food first, our moods were all great…then we ventured into the big store…the huge lion’s denπŸ™ˆπŸ™‰πŸ™Š

Sofia kept on touching (she can’t keep her hands still and to herself) her siblings touched a few items too…I was scared something would break! And besides when we are in shops I always say to my babies “look but don’t touch” So I continuously asked them all to not touch…but only Sofia resisted…

Well well well…all hell broke loose in a matter of seconds and before I knew it, I began preaching to much ignorance (breaks my heart this world)…

She refused to refrain, and even though I know it is hard for her to as it’s a part of her…unfortunately in society she has to conform, otherwise she will be labelled and rejected! And besides she will be breaking everything! 

Not whilst I am alive….

I am on a misson, trust me…I have to help her understand, persevering always! 

So at the point of analysing and deciding what lesson to teach her, I decided that I will not be buying her what she wanted because she refuses to stop touching what she isn’t supposed to touch…

Oh my, the complete attack, she chased me around the shop, she hit me, she threatened me, screaming on top of her lungs…”No I want my sausage now” “you meanie” “I hate you” “I want to run away from you”…oh my the list is endless…

But by now the whole world is watching, faces like wet fish…no compassion, no understanding…just complete ignorance…you are being judged by those looks..well by now I don’t actually care…but I got more upset because my sister who was with us, and 8 months pregnant was also upset from all the stares and glares…the laughing and sniggering…wow such heart breaking ignorance in 2017! The world needs educating…

So I went on one! 

Sorry but no in between with me, I was speaking to the world now…”don’t stare it is rude and unpleasant” “such ignorance” “no one asks you if you are ok? Or if the child is ok?” “Don’t worry, carry on shopping…she is fine” “doing alot better than most of you” “if a child was blind, deaf in a wheelchair you will understand, but when it is a mental disability you don’t” “watch me hard, and learn from me”

This is so sad, people will watch her and laugh not realising that her little mind is in turmoil, she can’t stop when she gets in that zone…she has so much going on and this her way of expressing (at the moment).. she is 7 in a week but acts like she is 2…but more shocking as she doesn’t look 2, she looks 10 and speaks like 16…

I am not going to make my life easier or the world’s just to have peace by giving in…unfortunately the reality of life and society doesn’t accept such behaviours as she grows into teenagehood and adulthood….so I am not going to raise her with the delusion, that her behaviour is acceptable…I am basically going to help and direct her no matter how hard it gets…

Yes she is high functioning Autistic, and she has her challenges at 7 (acts 2 when melting) and she is still finding her self… but I am not going to play that game…

I am blessed with her for a reason, I am on a mission amd that is to be real and to share my world…even if I make a 5% impact to “reduce ignorance for hidden disabilities” then I have done my bit! 

But forward and upwards I go with my world…I am determined and I will never ever give up the struggle.πŸ•ŠπŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™

Ventures with my children…autism in tow!

You forget that a time always comes, when you completely feel overwhelmed and maybe a scream or cry would help…but not when its around a high functioning autistic child!

Last few days have been hellish! I hardly take my daughter to crowded areas (shopping centres)…

But I decided on Monday, we’d go and buy some school things. We got there, and then hell broke lose! Everything she liked, she picked and I said no to buying and her response was shocking but yet expected! 

She doesn’t understand “authority” how dare you say no to her? She starts to say all sorts…you are a “meanie” “I hate you” “you don’t love me” “you are diarrhoea”….my goodness the abuse was endless…and I have two other children with me, just quietly looking in disbelief!

But hey this is what we deal with when we are out…she doesn’t have boundaries or even a filter…she just loses it, because she can’t get her own way!

I felt like crying, I felt like breaking into pieces….but I remained disciplined, learnt from the last time. Still learning everyday… I have to be in control, not allowing her to get to me….not allowing the world to get to me, because all eyes are on us now…

It can be a lonely and a sad world, when you are in that moment with this child…no compassion…you soon realise that, you have to be it all! 

It didn’t stop there, it is a pattern…you say no and she just doesn’t seem to accept it!

This is my battle, my challenge…to help her to understand “authority” to accept “adult instructions”…to not internalise and react when she doesn’t get everything…this is the most difficult part…

I am unbiased however, she is mine and I love her no matter what. My focus is to continue to love her unconditionally, but at the same time show her the errors of her ways…but what are her ways at 7? I don’t have the answers…I just have perseverance. 

May God continue to guide my struggles and may our ventures continue regardless, because we have others to consider! 

πŸ•ŠπŸ’ŸπŸ•Š

World Autism Awareness Day 02.04.2017…My world everydayπŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™

Today and everyday is Autism awareness day…
Empowered with a life to share and to elevate oneself, and others along the path…
At first not easy, but as time has permitted  my understanding has been broadened…
Ignorance isn’t bliss! Especially when compassion is needed…
My stance with my autistic princess was to just listen to her alone…I mean to her alone! No Opinions from others, no Google, no Prayers for deliverance, no Books….just her nonverbal voice…
Yes what an amazing journey this is…everyday I learn a new way…she suddenly began to speak, took her a while compared to her twin….but when she has, she just does!
She never crawled, she just walked…she never practises…she just observes and then she blossoms…

She never babbled, she just spoke…she used her echolalia to practise and that was simply and still is her way…
She will write and read for you and you will  be in amazement…and she never learned phpnics in depth…her brain develops in a more unique way! She gets it immediately.

She is so intelligent, she has an amazing memory and she is extremely creative.
Never a conformist…just her beautiful amazing self.

A blessing upon this earth. A child specially sent from God…to test me, to test the world.

The tests have been so many and so difficult but yet I have persevered, because I love my daughter who has Autism and with all her challenges…I love her more because she is truly my teacher.

Let us embrace our children, let is be open and not ignorant…

You are highly blessed to have a child with a special need as you see life for what it really is.

Don’t wallow and feel sorry for yourself or for them…turn it all into a positive and see where it takes you…beyond your own imagination!

Love Autism, Share Autism πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™

Autism and Lessons…

You learn something new every single day. I learnt a very hard truth today!

Seriously, you have to be very careful whom you have around your ‘high functioning’ autistic daughter…

Well for my daughter I learnt today, I must be extra careful! I mean she is a real sponge…she absorbs and mimics the behaviours of others (especially adults).

This can be very bad, especially when the adult is behaving very badly….my daughter can’t help herself…she doesn’t seem to understand the power of words and her behaviour just yet…so she is getting influenced by what she is hearing and seeing…

So what do I do? I believe the first and best cause of action is that I put her first as always…I can’t allow any negativity around her in whatever way! I know in life we all make mistakes and besides its a learning curve…I am happy to learn!

But without a manual, I can still write my own book…my own words.

So today’s lesson will linger for a lifetime! Her voice speaks much louder…

Is it her Autism? Or is it her Behaviour?

As World Autism Awareness day approaches on 2nd April 2016) 

I am just thinking and writing out loud…in my world Autism awareness is every single day! 

We are personally doing or let’s say trying our best to spread awareness…everyday!

My daughter approaches 6 years old in a month, I look at her in amazement everyday. Her very strong character and mouth to boot! She knows what she wants and she is not going to back down…

Well to me, she has her work cut out! By now I know exactly when Autism kicks in and when Behaviour wants full control!

But like my princess knows, mama is the boss!

For example we went out today, I had a lot to buy because I am cooking for a lot of friends tomorrow…

Firstly she is autistic when she says…”I am not going” this is a phrase every time she has to go out…especially if she isn’t getting her own way…with the iPad! Daily with the school run…but now I have learnt to ignore so much…much more tolerance and patience!

But she just doesn’t like change, or let’s say it takes her much longer to accept or even adhere to change…I actually don’t blame her, I don’t mix with change that much either…

Then came this moment in our lives. Where I can actually understand her and deal with any given situation appropriately…without getting a migraine or having a right fit!

She is just not in control of me as she was when I began to know her…

As for behaviour, total and utter disregard! I am not “mama” anymore…”I hate you” wow those words would cut someone so unsure….

I know she loves me, hate is a word she has heard from someone at school and she holds on to it to get a reaction when she doesn’t win you over…she absorbs ALL information like a sponge and stores it…like an elephant…amazing memory!

Ok now this is behaviour, not Autism…and she knows this exactly!

Nip it in a bud, I say! The challenge is immense, not for the weak hearted! But I have all faith, it shall be done…She has come on bounds and more to climb over…

As autism is for life,

Not just for her childhood…

I would like her to reach her best and more…my motto :- #autismcantstopher

Behaviour can be a hinderance, tough love is essential…never ever make her feel like she is a burden…

Embrace her, in just the beautiful way that she is…her character, her being, her autism…not behaviour…

As for that, what you put in…you get out! 

Behaviour, breeds behaviour!!!

I am here…

I knew it! I knew she was a blessing right from the start! I mean they are all my blessings…..but she is particularly extremely special. I knew that God gave me this challenge to test and grow me. My daughter, she is amazing regardless of any labels or how society perceives her. She is a diamond and needs to be learned from. 

I just finally engaged in my teaching assistant training. This training is what I need to get into mainstream schools. Supporting children with special educational needs. 

I received the messaged earlier, this is my path and calling. My princess didn’t come with a manual! She came to me as a blank canvas and with her help she is painting her picture exactly how she should be. 

I jut want to give back to others, engage with others to share and support them as they go through theirs. On this journey of ours, all we want to do more of…is to be open and to share with the world how amazing and uplifting accepting autism is. 

Let us accept and share and show others that regardless we can do this. Rather than wallow and feel sorry for myself, I am going to continue to push ahead with GOD completely by my side. 

I am enjoying my teaching assistant training right this minute! Bring on the bright and beautiful future…touching souls!

My beautiful Autistic Princess…regardless I see only LOVE

My chick Sofia and I today, busy getting the day over as school starts for her tomorrow! We look puckered with those lips and those glasses 😝😜 but looks are so deceiving! This confident, smart, amazing, beautiful, loving princess of mine gave me a very hard time today! I am still trying to find a balance, where I explain a situation that has changed, and Sofia just says “yes mama” and we happy! The reality is, she isn’t quite there yet….she just doesn’t seem to comprehend my explanation and especially if anything in her plans or mine slightly gets altered! No matter how structured, she has her own mind and she is giving it her all. She is very mouthy and says plenty of not so very nice things to me especially! I don’t take her words to heart, but I had a little cry today and God had my back πŸ’―. I saw my lovely friend Mona, she walked home with us and comforted me. It is really nice to share with someone who understands! This job isn’t for the faint hearted, you need plenty of strength and understanding! I derive mine from my GOD. I know and completely accept that my darling sweet Sofia is definitely a smaller version of me. My role as long as God keeps me, is to guide her and teach her and love her no matter her needs. My feelings don’t really matter, my daughters and my son matter more than any damn thing in this often ignorant and selfish world! The joy in all of the pain is to rise above it all and to be open and share. You are not alone. #autisticprincess #autismcantstopher #autismawareness #autismlove #loveconquersall #lovewholly #lovesetsyoufree #commitment #devotion #learning #growing #embracing #teaching #guiding #Godsown #Godmystrength πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™  

Autism and Loneliness…

To have an autistic daughter and to be in a lonely unsupported world is the most painful. I don’t have that support that I craved for more since I started my single motherhood journey 4 years ago. It had been a very hard and difficult journey and it will get harder I know like right now. My daughter is growing and it seems now she has a voice she is even more difficult. She is so physically and mentally strong and she knocks me for six. Apart from God whom I speak to all the time and my dead father, I don’t think anyone truly understands my plight, I am in agony mentally and then it eats at me physically too. I must be very strong as I persevere no matter how hard it gets. I still push myself to carry on because those babies really depend on me. It hurts a lot though that I am alone. I cry almost everyday because I just often want a hug or just to be asked if I am ok? and if I need any help. I am left alone to just carry my cross, and my cross I will surely carry very well until my demise. I am proud of myself in spite of my void, pain and struggle. I am all alone and it is not easy especially with the daily challenges I face with my beautiful autistic princess. God is indeed and forever my strength. I shall carry on and be as strong as I can. Alone as with no support only makes me stronger and so I can be supportive to others who have no one too.