Tag Archives: autismawareness

I am on a mission…Autism Awareness

What do I think I am going to achieve?

When it comes to #Autism I am most certain that I am on a mission and this journey, started when I realised that my daughter was sent to me for a reason….

She was sent to me and the world for a crucial reason…to educate, to elevate and most importantly to love unconditionally…without judging!

I was shouting from the roof top yesterday  (At a particular TK Maxx store, London)…

So after school, we all went to get a few bits…you can never plan for it or predict it…

We had food first, our moods were all great…then we ventured into the big store…the huge lion’s denπŸ™ˆπŸ™‰πŸ™Š

Sofia kept on touching (she can’t keep her hands still and to herself) her siblings touched a few items too…I was scared something would break! And besides when we are in shops I always say to my babies “look but don’t touch” So I continuously asked them all to not touch…but only Sofia resisted…

Well well well…all hell broke loose in a matter of seconds and before I knew it, I began preaching to much ignorance (breaks my heart this world)…

She refused to refrain, and even though I know it is hard for her to as it’s a part of her…unfortunately in society she has to conform, otherwise she will be labelled and rejected! And besides she will be breaking everything! 

Not whilst I am alive….

I am on a misson, trust me…I have to help her understand, persevering always! 

So at the point of analysing and deciding what lesson to teach her, I decided that I will not be buying her what she wanted because she refuses to stop touching what she isn’t supposed to touch…

Oh my, the complete attack, she chased me around the shop, she hit me, she threatened me, screaming on top of her lungs…”No I want my sausage now” “you meanie” “I hate you” “I want to run away from you”…oh my the list is endless…

But by now the whole world is watching, faces like wet fish…no compassion, no understanding…just complete ignorance…you are being judged by those looks..well by now I don’t actually care…but I got more upset because my sister who was with us, and 8 months pregnant was also upset from all the stares and glares…the laughing and sniggering…wow such heart breaking ignorance in 2017! The world needs educating…

So I went on one! 

Sorry but no in between with me, I was speaking to the world now…”don’t stare it is rude and unpleasant” “such ignorance” “no one asks you if you are ok? Or if the child is ok?” “Don’t worry, carry on shopping…she is fine” “doing alot better than most of you” “if a child was blind, deaf in a wheelchair you will understand, but when it is a mental disability you don’t” “watch me hard, and learn from me”

This is so sad, people will watch her and laugh not realising that her little mind is in turmoil, she can’t stop when she gets in that zone…she has so much going on and this her way of expressing (at the moment).. she is 7 in a week but acts like she is 2…but more shocking as she doesn’t look 2, she looks 10 and speaks like 16…

I am not going to make my life easier or the world’s just to have peace by giving in…unfortunately the reality of life and society doesn’t accept such behaviours as she grows into teenagehood and adulthood….so I am not going to raise her with the delusion, that her behaviour is acceptable…I am basically going to help and direct her no matter how hard it gets…

Yes she is high functioning Autistic, and she has her challenges at 7 (acts 2 when melting) and she is still finding her self… but I am not going to play that game…

I am blessed with her for a reason, I am on a mission amd that is to be real and to share my world…even if I make a 5% impact to “reduce ignorance for hidden disabilities” then I have done my bit! 

But forward and upwards I go with my world…I am determined and I will never ever give up the struggle.πŸ•ŠπŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™

Ventures with my children…autism in tow!

You forget that a time always comes, when you completely feel overwhelmed and maybe a scream or cry would help…but not when its around a high functioning autistic child!

Last few days have been hellish! I hardly take my daughter to crowded areas (shopping centres)…

But I decided on Monday, we’d go and buy some school things. We got there, and then hell broke lose! Everything she liked, she picked and I said no to buying and her response was shocking but yet expected! 

She doesn’t understand “authority” how dare you say no to her? She starts to say all sorts…you are a “meanie” “I hate you” “you don’t love me” “you are diarrhoea”….my goodness the abuse was endless…and I have two other children with me, just quietly looking in disbelief!

But hey this is what we deal with when we are out…she doesn’t have boundaries or even a filter…she just loses it, because she can’t get her own way!

I felt like crying, I felt like breaking into pieces….but I remained disciplined, learnt from the last time. Still learning everyday… I have to be in control, not allowing her to get to me….not allowing the world to get to me, because all eyes are on us now…

It can be a lonely and a sad world, when you are in that moment with this child…no compassion…you soon realise that, you have to be it all! 

It didn’t stop there, it is a pattern…you say no and she just doesn’t seem to accept it!

This is my battle, my challenge…to help her to understand “authority” to accept “adult instructions”…to not internalise and react when she doesn’t get everything…this is the most difficult part…

I am unbiased however, she is mine and I love her no matter what. My focus is to continue to love her unconditionally, but at the same time show her the errors of her ways…but what are her ways at 7? I don’t have the answers…I just have perseverance. 

May God continue to guide my struggles and may our ventures continue regardless, because we have others to consider! 

πŸ•ŠπŸ’ŸπŸ•Š

Limitedenergy.co.uk

My new fictional  (doesn’t  exist) personal daily living website…lol

Limitedenergy.co.uk….Yes! I am currently operating using this stance. I have only a limited amount of energy, tolerance or entertainment for trivial situations…

Simply because she absorbs my entire being…but so it should be, because after all I am her mama! I am all she’s got…to guide and nurture her, with unconditional LOVE….Strength, even patience (limited to her).

As this week passes, we had a bad Monday, then Tuesday and Wednesday went exceptionally well…because I had sanctions in place…but by today Thursday…all hell broke loose again!

So I find myself speechless, full of words but nothing new comes out…I am completely drained but I am not giving up. I will do this to the end,  by listening and learning from her…I am able to then teach her (fingers crossed)…

So my energy feels channelled currently, I hope I am not hurting or offending anyone…its just I cant stay on the phone for hours telling you how awful my day has been because I am overwhlemed by the unknown…I can’t really socialise as I am physically and especially mentally drained…

Indeed my energy is limited, but not personal or limited to you specifically…in a nutshell…I am staying limited as only one of me, has to give alot of me to many…

My LOVE runs deep and to sustain I must often retreat to limitedenergy.co.uk πŸ˜ͺ

Autism and Lessons…

You learn something new every single day. I learnt a very hard truth today!

Seriously, you have to be very careful whom you have around your ‘high functioning’ autistic daughter…

Well for my daughter I learnt today, I must be extra careful! I mean she is a real sponge…she absorbs and mimics the behaviours of others (especially adults).

This can be very bad, especially when the adult is behaving very badly….my daughter can’t help herself…she doesn’t seem to understand the power of words and her behaviour just yet…so she is getting influenced by what she is hearing and seeing…

So what do I do? I believe the first and best cause of action is that I put her first as always…I can’t allow any negativity around her in whatever way! I know in life we all make mistakes and besides its a learning curve…I am happy to learn!

But without a manual, I can still write my own book…my own words.

So today’s lesson will linger for a lifetime! Her voice speaks much louder…

Autism Awareness Day 2016…

In honour of Sofia, today is a very significant day, so very important. 

It is all about sharing our stories, our beautiful autistic children with the world. 

Let’s focus on all the positives…this is how I see mine!

I am forever blessed with ALL my children!

There was a time however right from the beginning…when I didn’t even know what autism was and I just didn’t want to read or listen to anything…didn’t want to deal with it!

Life seemed so tough, 5 years almost 6 years now…I knew she was different to her twin right from the start! 

But I didn’t see her autism. I just put all her behaviours down to her speed..I would often say, she is just behind and she will catch up…

And has she caught up or what! Wow it is amazing how much catching up she has made. She is surely in her prime…

When she got diagnosed, life was quite daunting, difficult, depressing but I persevered because ALL my children deserved and still deserve my complete devotion, my entire LOVE! 

Sofia couldn’t tell me anything, she just expressed her needs differently… Then I started to listen to her alone! Not interested in what others had to say or what others had to do. 

It is my cross to carry I say! My child has her own mind and it is my ultimate job to learn and embrace and understand her language. 

Everything started to fall into place… I mean the girl can now talk for England! She has this infectious and beautiful confidence, and I am learning from her every single day still and I love it! 

She is extremely smart, her brain is definitely like a sponge!! She retains everything! She often would say “mama I remember everything” 

Wow what a brain to have! She doesn’t see or have time for in between the lines…her lines are straight and she expresses herself accordingly! She is completely allowed, to be so infectious. 

Life would be boring without the amazing being that Sofia is. Challenges to boot, but our motto here is to completely focus on the positives…as we do so, Sofia reaches her ultimate self. She is so great already…I see her amazingly touching this world and as her mother I will stand by her till the end. As her family we shall hold and live and love her exactly the way that she is! 

#autismawarenessday2016