Tag Archives: devotion

Ventures with my children…autism in tow!

You forget that a time always comes, when you completely feel overwhelmed and maybe a scream or cry would help…but not when its around a high functioning autistic child!

Last few days have been hellish! I hardly take my daughter to crowded areas (shopping centres)…

But I decided on Monday, we’d go and buy some school things. We got there, and then hell broke lose! Everything she liked, she picked and I said no to buying and her response was shocking but yet expected! 

She doesn’t understand “authority” how dare you say no to her? She starts to say all sorts…you are a “meanie” “I hate you” “you don’t love me” “you are diarrhoea”….my goodness the abuse was endless…and I have two other children with me, just quietly looking in disbelief!

But hey this is what we deal with when we are out…she doesn’t have boundaries or even a filter…she just loses it, because she can’t get her own way!

I felt like crying, I felt like breaking into pieces….but I remained disciplined, learnt from the last time. Still learning everyday… I have to be in control, not allowing her to get to me….not allowing the world to get to me, because all eyes are on us now…

It can be a lonely and a sad world, when you are in that moment with this child…no compassion…you soon realise that, you have to be it all! 

It didn’t stop there, it is a pattern…you say no and she just doesn’t seem to accept it!

This is my battle, my challenge…to help her to understand “authority” to accept “adult instructions”…to not internalise and react when she doesn’t get everything…this is the most difficult part…

I am unbiased however, she is mine and I love her no matter what. My focus is to continue to love her unconditionally, but at the same time show her the errors of her ways…but what are her ways at 7? I don’t have the answers…I just have perseverance. 

May God continue to guide my struggles and may our ventures continue regardless, because we have others to consider! 

πŸ•ŠπŸ’ŸπŸ•Š

For what I do for you, I also do for myself!

An inspiring few weeks for me personally, complete emancipation of my very being…

As a growing woman, I exude what I must at this present time.

Always been a woman’s woman. To love and to encourage you is what I always want to do.

I don’t function on negativity, my stance is to potray love and devotion to you. As my sister, my friend…my stranger. Even more so when I don’t actually know you.

I just want to be there for you, to love you, to encourage you, to set you up…because whatever I am giving to you, I am ultimately giving myself.

I don’t compete with you, I don’t envy you or ever wish bad for you. I just want you to grow and be as happy as intended. 

Your joy is my joy, hold your head right up high and see that you are beautiful and capable of living your own purpose. 

Finding you, helps me to find me too. As for trying times, don’t fret on the miniscule things…focus on elevating each other. In time you will see that this is the true definition of your own soul! 

Let Love be the winner in all that you see, in all that you do and go through. AmenπŸ•Š

Single and a mother…what comes next?

You find your self all alone, starting all over again…but this time you have a child! 

How do you process? and how do you proceed? No self help book can help you with this one!

You never imagined a marriage failing, in fact you never weighed any other options…you never saw your future! 

In your world, the man came…the knot got tied and a baby delivered…but you could have never predicted, that you will be left with the baggage….all for you to carry? All alone! 

You find yourself single and a mother…no manual, no help! Going to go mad by now? Or will this experience only make you stronger? 

All the answers you may require, comes from you! No one can help you with this one…

The strength and motivation you need, all derives from your very being…always remember that indeed, the dynamics have changed….

But what you must try to do next….is to be better than you ever were…and more than before, as now you have a baby in tow! 

“Single mother, teach your son how to be strong! Teach your daughter how to love herself! You reap what you sow” Becky Bincan 

Limitedenergy.co.uk

My new fictional  (doesn’t  exist) personal daily living website…lol

Limitedenergy.co.uk….Yes! I am currently operating using this stance. I have only a limited amount of energy, tolerance or entertainment for trivial situations…

Simply because she absorbs my entire being…but so it should be, because after all I am her mama! I am all she’s got…to guide and nurture her, with unconditional LOVE….Strength, even patience (limited to her).

As this week passes, we had a bad Monday, then Tuesday and Wednesday went exceptionally well…because I had sanctions in place…but by today Thursday…all hell broke loose again!

So I find myself speechless, full of words but nothing new comes out…I am completely drained but I am not giving up. I will do this to the end,  by listening and learning from her…I am able to then teach her (fingers crossed)…

So my energy feels channelled currently, I hope I am not hurting or offending anyone…its just I cant stay on the phone for hours telling you how awful my day has been because I am overwhlemed by the unknown…I can’t really socialise as I am physically and especially mentally drained…

Indeed my energy is limited, but not personal or limited to you specifically…in a nutshell…I am staying limited as only one of me, has to give alot of me to many…

My LOVE runs deep and to sustain I must often retreat to limitedenergy.co.uk πŸ˜ͺ

Trying to balance….

I am standing tall, I am not wavering, I can hold it down…But

That’s because they are absolutely amazing and deserve to be devoted to…..BUT 

I just can’t seem to find a start though! I mean I never regret my sacrifices….BUT 

Can look as if I am just wasting away. I have and want to do so much but I cannot simply just do….BUT 

I do believe that a time will come and what shall be, shall be….BUT 

I can’t help but to say….I am honestly still trying to find a balance for my very own self….A purpose….